1. Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
2. I look like yes and you look like no.
3. I wasn’t born a princess but if the crown fits.
4. The right person will love all the things about you that the wrong person took for granted.
5. I like being the girl nobody can have.
6. They’re called skinny jeans not “make you skinny” jeans
7. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with “guess” on it so I said implants?
8. Here’s my cup of care…oh look it’s empty
9. I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
10. You’re tall do you play basketball.. you’re short do you play mini golf?
11. If a girl from iceland and a guy from cuba have a kid would he be an icecube?
12. When I’m older I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married and the day that I met you
13. I love to give homemade gifts…which one of my kids do you want?
14. People who gossip with you most likely gossip about you
15. I fall, I rise, I make mistakes, I live, I learn, I’ve been hurt but I’m alive, I’m human I’m not perfect but I’m thankful
16. The biggest mistake I have made in my life is letting people stay in my life for longer than they deserve.