Tag Archives: funny

Start appreciating what you have and be happy. Life is a gift.

  • I don’t argue, I just explain why I’m right
  • Bitches be trippin’ just kidding I push them the fck out of my way
  • Is fuck off an emotion because I feel it in my soul
  • Time will always show you who and what really matters
  • Nobody is living your life so never let anyone tell you what to do with it
  • When you actually matter to a paerson they’ll make time for you no lies, no excuses
  • Today’s to do list: wake up, drink coffee, pretend to be human, fuck this shit
  • We’re so stressed out today because we believe everything needs to happen right now we forget that everthing happens in perfect timing
  • I think its weird how some days I feel skinny and other days I feel like a busted can of cinnamon rolls
  • Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve
  • If you can’t handle me at my worst I don’t blame you that shit is ridiculous
  • Fellas stop giving women empty and over used compliments like beautiful and stunning be different tell her “I wanna motorboat your butt cheeks to barry white”
  • I found the place where I belong it’s right here next to you.

Sometimes the most important life lessons are the ones we end up learning the hard way.

Be fearless when it comes to life and careless when it comes to what people may think or say about you.

To a real woman a full bank account means nothing if your soul is empty, bring more to the table than just money and sex, she can get that anywhere.

Being dead proud of yourself because you’ve got through the week without kicking anyone in the dick or stabbing someone in the eye with a fork

Just because something ends doesn’t mean it never should’ve been, remember you lived, you learned, you grew and you moved on.

I look cute and sweet but also I give off the vibe that I’ll snap your neck if you disrespect.

Life is about changing for the better. If you have to let go of some people along the way then you go right ahead.

Too many girls think they are above everyone else just because you wear mac foundation and a camel coat doesn’t make you Kim Kardashian.



Don’t expect people to understand your grind when God didn’t give them your vision.

But it so happens that those with hearts of gold appear to be the most cold.

My money didn’t come easy and neither do I

Take the time to tell her what she means to you because as quickly as you feel in love with the way her laugh made you laugh even when something wasn’t funny she could be gone and the sight of her walking away isn’t nearly as beautiful as the one of her walking towards you.

You showed me one important thing that no one else has ever been able to show me before. Not that I’m beautiful, not that I’m smart, not that I’m sweet, none of that. You showed me I was important there’s a reason I’m here.

I want to be your favorite place to go when you’ve had a bad day or a good day.

Don’t say you’ll ‘treat a girl like a princess’ unless you’re prepared to follow up on that shit. If I’m not living in a castle by the sea with diplomatic powers over a small country then you’re a bitch ass liar.

A true friend: doesn’t care when you’re broke, being a bitch, what you weigh, if your house is a mess, what you drive, about your past or if your family is crazy.

Girls like guys to take charge, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex’s hometown, buy her a kitten.

Like a rose: delicate like the petals but ruthless like the thorns.

I need more money and more sleep.

If they want you in their life they will find a way to put you there period.

I’ll probably come off as mean when you first meet me but after you really get to know me you’ll find out that I’m actually meaner.

Supporting another’s success won’t ever dampen yours.

Don’t waste another second of your thoughts on the ones who didn’t think enough about you to keep you.

I don’t flirt I just talk. It’s not my fault everything I say is smoother than the cream cheese spread on your bagel.

Before calling me ask yourself is this textable.

Just because I post it doesn’t mean I’m going through it and it doesn’t mean that it’s directed at anyone.

Never trade respect for attention.

Being thirsty for attention isn’t attractive you can’t expect to get respect when you fail to give it to yourself.

I think one of my favorite feelings is laughing with someone and realizing half way thru how much you enjoy them and their existence.

You make me wanna stay..

  • Deaf to the bullshit, blind to the fake. It’s my life I’ll be damned if I waste it!
  • Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them
  • You may hate me for being a sarcastic bitch but I’m the one who gets exactly what I want while you’re still whining about it
  • When my daughters ask what is marriage I’ll reply it’s a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can’t be handled by his parents anymore
  • A woman who walks in purpose doesn’t have to chase people or opportunities her light causes them to pursue her
  • There’s nothing sweeter than hearing a man say those 3 little words “you were right”
  • Your spouse is the only one whose seen you at your worst, smelled your morning breath, put up with your crazy relatives, endured your quirky habits and still loves you.
  • I really think tossing and turning at night should be considered exercise
  • Rules when I first wake up 1. everyone shut up 2. get out of my way 3. don’t ask me questions
  • don’t worry about the family that ignores and acts like you don’t matter. Love the ones who are always there for you no matter what.
  • What its like to be a parent: it’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love
  • I fall I rise I make mistakes I live and learn I’ve been hurt but I’m alive I’m human I’m not perfect but I’m thankful
  • Be bold enough to use your voice brave enough to listen to your heart and strong enough to live the life you want
  • I’ve seen better days and I’ve seen worse. I don’t have everything that I want but I do have all I need. I woke up with some aches and pains but I woke up. My life may not be perfect but I am blessed.

The Best is yet to come..

Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered “who ties your shoelaces for you?”

you will forever be my always.

You have my whole heart for my whole life.

I will never forget the moment I realized I loved you.

Trust your intuition it never lies.

I’m not perfect. Never have been, never will be.

I don’t have a short temper I just have a low tolerance for stupidity, immaturity and ignorance

If I had a life do over I would find you sooner so I could love you longer.

You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine.

Anyone can get married but it takes  a special relationship to stay married.

Thank you to every person who has ever told me I can’t.. you are just another reason I will.

When you’re always there for people they stop appreciating you because you’re favors are now an expectation.

Real family doesn’t come from your blood, it’s the people standing beside you when no one else was.

Some people don’t believe in heroes… they never met my dad or my husband.

Whenever I get a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children like the bottle says

I just want to be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.

I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.

You’re very beautiful, no doubt about that but I’ll still rate a monkey ahead of you.

Your face looks like hell or Mexico… I can’t tell.

You say you’re old school.. I just say you’re old.

If you want sympathy from me look it up in the dictionary… it’s between shit and syphilis

Do your thing and don’t care if they like it

You can be gorgeous at 30, charming at 40 and amazing for the rest of your life.

Beauty to me is about being comfy in your own skin or kick ass red lipstick.

Inhale the future, exhale the past.

No matter how dirty your past your future is spotless.

No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future

You know you’re on the right track when you’re uninterested in looking back.

Keep fighting no matter how hard the battle will be

Shit happens it is what it is and sometimes that’s all we can say.

Sex without love is like food without taste

Don’t be quick to judge you only see what I choose to show

If you’re unhappy with life change it if it sucks make something happen. You create the life you want to live.

I forgive not forget

I’m learning little by little that we decide what our lives are going to be. Things happen to us but it’s our reactions that matter.

Everyone deserves someone who’ll make them look forward to tomorrow.

Christmas Eve Quote Joy..

Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card, how you leave others feeling after an experience with you becomes your trademark.

Don’t let someone whose done nothing tell you how to do anything.

I own no explanations for my flaws. I don’t have to justify my mistakes, my past or my insecurities. I am growing and learning let me live.

Be bold enough to use your voice, love enough to listen to your heart and strong enough to live the life you’ve always imagined.

Let people do what they need to do to make them happy, mind your business and do what you need to do to make you happy.

If you’re not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you’re determined to learn no one can stop you.

The best is yet to come.


* To all my followers .. from my family to yours Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!